Chris

Today my roommate’s cat was treated to a new toy — a few catnip-soaked feathers on a line on a pole.

Pascal is, in no uncertain terms, a fat cat.

He’s got an ample belly that dangles charmingly almost to the floor. Sometimes, he struggles to jump even a couple feet up onto the couch.

But hang those catnip feathers high above his head and he becomes…

Air Jordan.

It made me think: when you want something enough, you are capable of remarkable feats. You will go farther than anyone thought you could.

DESIRE is the starting point of all achievement; not a hope, not a wish, but a keen pulsating desire which transcends everything.
— Napoleon Hill

In other words, “How bad do you want it?”

The other day I ran into a business acquaintance while out for drinks and he mentioned to me, “Dude, you are a prolific Facebooker! I see your updates ALL the time.”

My response was a mixture of shame (man, I yap too much) and pride (I just love to connect with my people!)

Thing is, it’s hard to fully take pride in Facebooking. More than anything, the updates are random and impulsive; snippets of my life, but not the story of my life. To Facebook (the verb) is not much of an art form or craft. It is a revelation of your stream of consciousness, a window into your brain, maybe. But it is not your work.

Sometimes you share your joy; other times you share your struggle. There is a humanity in that, no doubt. That is what makes Facebook a valuable social tool. It provides a glimpse of who people are (or at least who they might be) and facilitates knowing them in person.

I also have business clients or customers that are Facebook friends, and I feel it makes for a stronger relationship. I am not just a salesman, I am a person, and you can see that for yourself by observing me on Facebook. I can see that about you, too.

But let me not be fooled into thinking that to Facebook something is to create something. No matter how artfully I worded that 150-word status.

It is not enough to be a prolific Facebooker.

I would like to be a prolific writer. A prolific developer. A prolific entrepreneur.

Do your work elsewhere. Develop your properties. And share them on Facebook. But your Facebook itself is not the work.

In seventh grade, I took a public speaking class.

Mr. Williams assured us that it was perfectly normal to feel nervous before giving a presentation.

The key, he said, is to transform that nervous energy into kinetic energy — literally, the energy of motion.

Similarly, in life, it is normal to experience various states of crippling emotion. You can’t expect to never feel angry, annoyed, or dissatisfied. The question is how do you turn this emotion into motion?

Passion and positivity are natural propellers. But what is the function of frustration and fury? Naturally, these feelings can make you stagnant or destructive. Or… they can be channeled toward positive action.

Fire can burn you and it can destroy you. But learn how to channel it and it becomes fuel to move you forward.

I have felt lately
a frustration
beyond the norm.

Maybe I could point
to people or events,
but the truth is
the external circumstances don’t matter,
because they are only excuses
for what I lack internally.

Put simply,
what I need
is to figure my shit out.

I am 25,
with a seedling of a business
that is a reflection of
my passions
and my inadequacies.
My business
*deep breath*
is the ride of my life.

I am proud of what I’ve done,
but I feel an increasing angst
over not being where I want to be.

Take this not as a cry for help,
but as a statement of intent.

I will take a month off of Facebook
— not for the first time —
and I will spend more time in my personal space (on this blog).

I will maintain my social life,
but put personal interaction
above the compulsive voyeurism
of social media life.

More importantly,
I will nurture this writing habit,
to get my gears moving each day,
and to fulfill my insatiable desire
to create,
and to express,
in a more meaningful way.

It is time
to carry out my mission
with more stamina and focus.

Time and Potential
are not things to be wasted.

Caveats

• I will still share my posts on Facebook by clicking a Share link that does not direct me to my News Feed or my Timeline.
• I will bookmark my business Pages and update those only.
• I will NOT check my personal notifications, messages, friend requests, or News Feed.
• I set no guidelines for the length or content of each blog post. All that matters is that I write something and hit Publish each day.
• Between May 9th to the 13th, I will be out of the country, so my updates depend on whether I have Internet access on those days.

You can always contact me here.

I want to be fucking authentic.

I want to document the journey of my life in the most truthful way.

I want to feel no allegiance to anything but my relationship with the universe.

I find myself to be
… hyper self-aware…
constantly feeling
like maybe
I need
to shut
my mouth.

But I have an urge to share
everything.

To expose myself
is to feel consoled,
and absolved.

I don’t know why this is,
but it is.

Thank you
and forgive me.